X Jimmy Lee Dyckes

X     Jimmy Lee Dyckes



A maniac went quite berserk today,
And killed a school-bus driver in his bus.
The newsmen wished to blame the NRA,
George Bush, Rush Limbaugh, and the rest of us.

A boy was hostage but they made no fuss.
For the feds they waited patiently.
Perhaps he'd kill more people in his lust.
A gun grab!  By executive decree!

Before they hung it all on you and me,
Before Joe Biden even found his mouth,
The local SWAT boys shot the SOB.
That's how they git 'er done down in the South.

That killer gave a small boy quite a fright.
Those 'Bama good ol' boys--they did all right.

IX Cardiss Collins

IX     Cardiss Collins



A question, as I died, God asked with wrath.
"Is it not wrong to pass a law to scorn
The hanging of a murderous sociopath,
But allow the killing of a babe, half-born?"

The fabric of the welfare state is torn.
I surely thought food stamps would set them free.
My people now have nothing left to mourn;
Trapped in this government dependency.

Duped by the leaders of the DNC,
I worked to get the health care package through.
Too late, as I lay stricken, now I see
We didn't get a cursed thing!  Nor you!

"What have you done," asked He, "to help your race?"
I bit my lip and slowly hid my face.

VIII Arlene Ackermann

VIII     Arlene Ackermann



I started in D.C.  It was no breeze.
The head of all their schools.  I cut my teeth
On gangsters, sluts, and rapper wanna-be's.
With little brain pow'r lurking underneath.

Then, on to Frisco I was sent.  Good grief!
One hundred sevn'ty thousand I desired.
I had to sue.  They called me a damn thief!
'Twas severance pay.  Hah!  I could not be fired!

So Philly was the next bunch I inspired.
A five-year commie plan, their funds to drain.
They paid a million bucks if I'd retire.
And then I filed an unemployment claim!

My excellence, Obama recognized.
I was a brassy crook.  He was surprised!

VII Ed Koch

VII     Ed Koch



Iconic mayor of a city-state.
"Punch me; I'll punch you back," he used to say.
Oh!  Yesterday he joined the gun debate.
"Take all their guns!  Yes!  Ban them all today!"

This hipocrite had few cards left to play
But always wants inclusion in the news.
He rose up from his near-death bed.  Oy Vey!
To spew out, once again, his leftist views.

We used to think he cared about the Jews.
An anti-Semite prez he then endorsed.
No one's exempt from payment of his dues.
At last!  By failing heart!  His silence, forced!

You can't spell "dunce" without a DNC.
Don't foist your statist fascism on me.

VI Said Ali al-Shihri

VI
Said Ali al-Shihri



They penned me up in Gitmo for six years,
For nine-eleven and al Qaeda ties.
Their supreme court responded to my tears
(I filled them to the brim with smoke and lies!)

Then I, back with my jihad, gave more tries
And called Somali pirates to attack,
Helped cause the murdered missionaries' cries,
And all the while the Saudis watched my back.

The Yemens cut me quite a bit of slack.
Reported killed, they deemed to set me free.
I voted absentee for ol' Barack,
Then mocked you all on CNN TV!

Just this past week an air strike did me in.
Don't be too sure!  I might fool you again!

V Ted Talbert

V     Ted Talbert



Ah, poor Detroit!  The city that I loved!
The people in the streets have lost their dream.
Mere mem'ries of Joe Lewis, golden-gloved.
Sometimes you have to take one for the team.

At least that's how the politicians scheme,
But it's ne'er they whom have to take the bow.
The Roman column coronation theme
Impressed, but look who's paying for it now.

Extracting all the pork from one fat sow
Appears the politicians' only art.
So pay your union dues behind their plow.
I did and now it stopped (and broke) my heart.

'Ere all I learned in journalism school,
I gave a bomber jacket to a fool.

IV Robert Citron

IV     Robert Citron



They should've voted for that Moorlach guy,
But Bobby had his day beneath the sun.
Well, now he's died, and no one cares just why.
Eight billion bucks in Orange County funds!

A bankruptcy is what our hero won,
With interest-rate derivatives his plan,
And Golden-state taxpayers had no fun,
When Bobby went off, handcuffed, in the van.

Do not despair.  He's not the only man
To tax and spend and tax.  It's tried and true!
That self-important California clan
Has got the same plan for the rest of you!

While chasing down the California dream,
He broke his neighbors.  In a Ponzi scheme.

III Prospero Gallinari

III     Prospero Gallinari



Unlike Barack and pinhead Hillary,
Who strive to bring Marx in through your back door,
The Red Brigade!  A perfect match for me!
Italian-style!  An overt terror war!

Kidnapping Premier Moro from his car,
And, later, General Dozier as well,
Endeavoring to replace them with a czar,
We paid the mortgage for our place in Hell.

In nineteen seven nine, the truth to tell,
As we were chuckling--switching license tags,
The cops emerged and shot me up real well.
Now finally I've died, in prison rags.

We can account for fourteen thousand dead,
In what we aptly named "the years of lead."

II Maulvi Nazir

II     Maulvi Nazir



What better way to start out the new year,
Than letting loose a piercing rebel yell,
And dropping some C-4 upon Nazir,
Thus adding to the residents of Hell?

Ten thousand went to mourn and lived to tell!
"So see?  We're not so bad!"  I have to say.
How many kids saw polio's death knell?
So let ol' Maulvi have just one bad day.

The mullas have a different way to pray,
A host of virgins waiting for their cheer.
How odd, refining opium that way,
Whilst holding great objection toward lite beer!

A drone was buzzing quietly overhead.
A Taliban extremist is now dead.

I Enrique Otulski

I     Enrique Otulski

To put Fidel in place I worked with Che',
Deposing old Batista in his prime.
My one reward was "Head of Fisheries"
"E'en though I pledged to him my whole lifetime.

Whilst Che' was executed for his crimes,
A commie island, Cuba, we did make.
To squeeze from them last peso and last dime
We broke the poor cane workers we'd forsaked.

So sugar and cigars were our big break.
The Russian nukes we nearly brought to bear!
The stand by JFK was just a fake.
We missed our putrid goal by just a hair.

And now Fidel is sick and I am dead.
Red visions no more dancing in my head.