XXXVII William Lynch, Jr.

XXXVII    William Lynch, Jr.



I managed four campaigns for President;
For Walter Mondale and Ted Kennedy;
But that accounts for only losers two.
'Twas Jesse Jackson that lost twice you see!

The "rumpled genius" they labeled me,
'Een though I cast my fate with hapless fools.
I worked New York for shoo-in Hillary
Not knowing that her tears would fall in pools!

Barack Obama came and broke the rules
Pretending not to know it was her turn
To win the joust 'tween elepants and mules.
Election night I watched her future burn.

I wonder why they thought I was so wise...
The contests were all won by other guys!

XXXVI John Palmer

XXXVI    John Palmer



I didn't bother telling you some stuff;
You didn't hear a thing on NBC;
Obama's making finding jobs real tough;
Outspent the last five presidents, I see.

I've got my liberal journalist degree;
I hang with Bryant Gumbel and the bunch;
And when I'm finished smiling on TV,
I try to take Jane Pauley out to lunch.

I liked my biased editors a bunch;
They had such nuanced socialistic views;
They really helped when I was in a crunch;
To read my talking points and spin the news.

We blamed a lot on W!  Too much!
Cause he's the reason that I smoked too much!

XXXV Herb Kaplow

XXXV    Herb Kaplow



Oh my!  A vision just crept through my mind;
The stories that we spiked, the lies we told;
The spin; our propaganda so unkind;
The commie manifesto must be sold!

Just blame the socialistic views we hold;
We dast not e'er elect a patriot.
The new Amerika will be so bold!
We don't care what a cur or pimp we've got.

Don't tell the Clintons their curse you've forgot;
For they've not gone away, nor ever will.
Now they're on easy street, just doing pot;
And everybody's paying for it still.

A creepy job I had.  It's over now.
But Hillary is still a sacred cow.

XXXIV Vince Casanova

XXXIV    Vince Casanova



Your biased papers spread the commie word;
Poor judgment rivaling the movie stars;
Neglecting all the horrid things you heard;
And catering to the lowlifes in the bars.

Our Lady Liberty still bears your scars;
From all the crappy leftist things you wrote;
Promoting failure; undermining wars;
And making our true statesmen look like goats.

On mediocrity there is no ship that floats,
We won't be missing all your bankrupt rags;
Your stomach reels from lies and now it bloats!
The doctors cannot help--go pack your bags!

Oh!  Did we tell you that you were a loon?
And your "new house" is simply a commune.

XXXIII Helen Thomas

XXXIII    Helen Thomas



Yes, I was THE most biased in the news!
A true distinction!  I was number one.
And always slanting toward my liberal views;
And skewering good statesmen, just for fun.

I never got Obama on the run,
Although I recognized his statist ways.
Sev'n weeks without a question from this Hun.
Oh heck!  Why not just go with what he says?

Now I have ne'er been one of those who prays,
Though death has made me contemplate the term;
I didn't really care about the gays;
I liked to watch the Jesus freakers squirm.

The White House press corps misses me, it's true.
I helped them make a mockery of you!